The Quick and the Dead

The Quick and the Dead directed by Sam Raimi
1995
★✰✰✰✰
So I want to know how Sharon Stone was ever considered a good actress.  You would think that a movie with Gene Hackman, Russell Crowe and Leonardo DiCaprio (although he is in his annoyingly young phase in this film) would be a smash hit.  It could have been if not for Sharon Stone.  The story wasn't very good either...

Take Me Home Tonight

Take Me Home Tonight directed by Michael Dowse
2011
★✰✰✰✰
So I like Topher Grace.  He is a pretty good actor and funny most of the time.  This movie was horrible though.  It had great 80's music but nothing else.  Incredibly formulaic and boring.  This movie has been made a hundred times.

The Town

The Town directed by Ben Affleck
2010
★✰✰✰✰
So I was disappointed in this movie.  I was so slow throughout and Ben Affleck is so boring.  I ended up fast forwarding most of the movie.

Angels & Demons

Angels & Demons by Dan Brown
2000
★✰✰✰✰
So I enjoyed The DaVinci Code so I thought I would give this book a try.  The movie was OK, not great, but OK.  This book was terrible.  I stopped reading after 50 pages thinking that it would start to get better but it never did.  Oh well, on to the next book.

Glorious 39

Glorious 39 directed by Stephen Poliakoff
2009
★✰✰✰✰
So I have no idea what happened in this movie.  Was she crazy?  Was her family crazy?  What's up with Walter/Christopher Lee?  As my wife said, "That was a weird ass movie..."

The Company Men

The Company Men directed by John Wells
2010
★✰✰✰✰
So I think this movie was a bomb.  Boring.  Are we supposed to feel sorry for this corporate executives making big bucks and then fired?

Killers

Killers directed by Robert Luketic
2010
★✰✰✰✰
So I don't know why I actually watched this whole movie.  It wasn't that good.  Ashton Kutcher is so boring.  This idea has been done many times before.  As my wife said, it's an even worse Mr & Mrs Smith.

Hereafter

Hereafter directed by Clint Eastwood
2010
★✰✰✰✰
So I really tried to watch this film.  I really did.  It started off interestingly enough with the Boxing Day tsunami but then I felt it didn't go anywhere.  I couldn't figure out how any of these people could be connected and I'll never know since I stopped the film after an hour or so.

I Love You Phillip Morris

I Love You Phillip Morris directed by Glenn Ficarra
2009
★✰✰✰✰
So I thought this was going to be a comedy about the cigarette/tobacco industry.  I was wrong.  It is essentially the true story of a gay guy that keeps breaking out of prison.  Very slow and I ended up fast forwarding much of the film.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse directed by David Slade
2010
★✰✰✰✰
So I don't know if I really get to rate this film as I didn't pay much attention while my wife watched it.  It was very cheesy from what I saw but I do like the one quip by Edward (Robert Pattinson) in reference to Jacob (Taylor Lautner) "Doesn't this guy ever wear a shirt?" My thoughts exactly! Hah!!!!

Disaster Movie

Disaster Movie directed by Aaron Seltzer
2008
★✰✰✰✰
So I wish I didn't see this film.  It is horrible.

The Last Airbender

The Last Airbender directed by M. Knight Shyamalan
2010
★✰✰✰✰
So I knew this was going to be a kids movie but this was ridiculous.  Almost all of the dialogue in the movie is how the story is explained to the viewer.  Its like everyone is a narrator.  I knew it wasn't going to be good but it just bombed.  And then to have it end with a continuation with 2 or maybe 3 more films is hilarious.  Part of me hopes they don't make any more films but another part would really like to see it wrapped up.  On top of all of this, Daily Show correspondent, Aasif Mandvi is the bad guy in the movie!  Ha!

MacGruber

MacGruber directed by Jorma Taccone
2010
★✰✰✰✰
So I knew this movie would be bad and it didn't disappoint.  The original commercial sketches from SNL were dumb.  I was surprised by the incredible amount of foul language (not that I mind).  I certainly wasn't anticipating it.  I absolutely loved how he would take the car stereo with him.  I remember doing that with mine!  My how Ryan Phillippe has fallen on hard times...

Robin Hood

Robin Hood directed by Ridley Scott
2010
★✰✰✰✰
So I was hoping that this would be an entertaining movie but it wasn't.  Almost nothing happened for 2 1/2 hours.  I don't really care for Russel Crowe but I was willing to look past it for the Robin Hood story.  It turned out to be a different story (no robbing from the rich to give to the poor) and I was okay with that.  What killed the film for me was the constant dialogue.  There was little action throughout the movie (really only the beginning and the end) and to think that Robin Hood helped create the Magna Carta!  Hah!

Clash of the Titans

Clash of the Titans directed by Louis Leterrier
2010
★✰✰✰✰
So I think this may be the worst movie that I have actually watched the whole thing on (of course some fast forwarding was involved).  I liked the campy, stop-motion 1980s film much more than this one.  The movie was so slow and boring with lame comedic relief and horrible acting.  I felt so bad for Liam Neeson and Ralph Fienes.  Sam Worthington is a horrible actor.  This movie could have been fun but it wasn't.  Boo. 

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past directed by Mark Waters
2009
★✰✰✰✰
So I keep wondering why Matthew McConaughey is in movies.  He may be the worst actor ever (insert Comic Book Guy)!  This movie was horrible.  If not for Michael Douglas' "Gordon Gekko" ish Uncle Wayne character, this movie would get zero stars.  Luckily my wife was in control of the remote, and most of the movie was fast forwarded.

Good Luck Chuck

Good Luck Chuck directed by Mark Helfrich
2007
★✰✰✰✰
So I didn't really watch all of this movie.  It was so bad, it was hard to watch.  My wife was in control of the remote and she fast-forwarded through most of it.  Thank God that is over.  Do not watch this movie.

Phoebe in Wonderland

Phoebe in Wonderland directed by Daniel Barnz
2008
★✰✰✰✰
So I was trying to find a movie to watch with my wife and we picked this one as it seemed interesting.  What a downer!  We were thinking it would be more of an upbeat movie of a young girl's fantasy land but it is a sad story of Turret's syndrome.  I love my kids!

I Love You, I Hate You, I'm Hungry

I Love You, I Hate You, I'm Hungry: A Collection of Cartoons by Bruce Eric Kaplan
2010
★✰✰✰✰
So I used to love reading comic books. Not really "comic books" but "books of comics."  Calvin and Hobbes, The Far Side, even Peanuts and Garfield books filled up my bedside nightstand.  However, this book was very "meh."  There were very few jokes that made me laugh. I did like, "If we are made up of energy, why am I so tired?" I guess these comics are too intellectual for me.  I think I just like cruder forms of humor. If you are like me, check out Hyperbole and a Half and The Oatmeal for some good laughs.
You can also view my reviews at books.livingsocial.com